


But Not Me. Not Anymore.

by SansRene_KantGaster



Series: The Unified Theory Papers [6]
Category: Undertale, Visiontale - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Genocide Route, Speculative, Visiontale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:07:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23526625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SansRene_KantGaster/pseuds/SansRene_KantGaster
Summary: How do you convince yourself to give your life for everyone you know... multiple times?Spoilers for Chapter 39 of Visiontale onward, the end of (so basically ALL) of ChronoTrigger, and, if you read the endnotes, the first three Saw films.Originally written and posted during the 2020 Undertale Lockdown Event, for the Photon Readings Negative prompt.
Series: The Unified Theory Papers [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1176101
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to see the sources I used to help me research the topics discussed in this story, read the endnotes.
> 
> Also, keep in mind that the upcoming... analysis... is coming from an author who doesn't have a philosophy degree, and has done essentially no formal study on the cited materials whatsoever.
> 
> Lastly, loop this song starting when the story indicates it.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoF3M6ymyHI

774...

775...

776...

777.

777 steps, from Asgore's basement door to the center of the Judgment Hall.

Scapulas set back, spine erect, soul trained on the gravel path in front of me: "He won't recognize me, now. If he--"

**NO.**

Though he can sense my field of knowing, and knows my cemented--

**NO.**

He _HAD_ known them. He had seen them countless times.

He had _ALWAYS_ seen them change... until now.

Phalangetips reach down, brushing metal gently. "Good. You're stil there.

"At least _YOU_ can't die on me."

Stroking the Masamune's blade--

I tense: "He's taking his time."

He--

**NO.**

_FLOWEY--_

_FLOWEY_ is taking more drastic measures to find and kill monsters. He is almost--

**NO.**

I _KNOW_ he is halfway through new Home. Even from here, every surface, every object, even the air flowing past me, burns with his determination.

Next, as I touch my clavicle, thick, metal chain links slide on bone. Though my whole soul fixates on Flowey, I can read the text on the back of Schala's amulet, which Chrono gifted me, with ease. The phalangetips of one hand Trace the words, while the phalangetips of the other grip a whetstone. When I trace the words, I sharpen the Masamune, cradled in my magic before me. When I sharpen it, I repeat the phrase inked there.

A human might call the strength of my magic a firm whisper.

"Cogito, ergo sum.

"Cogito, ergo sum.

"Cogito, ergo sum.

"Cogito--"

I gasp.

The determination has strengthened.

Flowey is in the courtyard outside Asgore's house.

Sheathing the Masamune: "I don't have--"

**NO.**

I have had all the time in the world to prepare.

Grasping folds of the fabric draped around me with both hands, I laugh softly. " _WHY_ , by Tesla, did I not change sooner?"

Flowey is in the house. Rifling through drawers, smashing furniture, mixing chemicals in the sink: doing _ALL_ he can to ready himself.

**"YOU'LL FAIL THIS TIME."**

A fact--

**NO.**

A **WISH** \--

... **NO.**

**THIS.**

**IS.**

**A.**

**FACT.**

A _**SERIES**_ of facts.

**Loop until the end of the chapter.**

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoF3M6ymyHI

I'll never collapse in despair, as Papyrus fragments, again.

I'll never wonder how Undyne transformed, or how Flowey killed her without taking damage, again.

I'll never marvel at Alphys's magic, as strong as if it were never stunted, as she transmutes all the metal in the room, again.

I'll never watch Flowey dodge her attacks effortlessly, and skewer her on her own spikes, again.

I'll never wonder how Flowey knew my friends held such power, again.

I'll never compare his knowledge to what Chrono and his friends learned, via their time travel, again.

I'll never realize that ChronoTrigger is a lacking portrayal of time travel, again.

I'll never compare Flowey's actions to a player loading their save file, having learned from their mistakes, again.

I'll never relive my memories, in virtual reality, in my basement, the Epoch, and its view of the timelines, confirming my fears, again.

I'll never relive each timeline Flowey warped: pacifistic, genocidal, and in between, again.

I'll never realize that my theory: that to defy death, one must control time, was true, again.

I'll never realize that Flowey toyed with everyone countless times, again.

I'll never compare Flowey to Descartes's 'evil genius"... and Lavos... again.

I'll never create a wall-sized chart of Flowey's crimes, grouped by how he broke the categorical imperative, again.

I'll never read Groundwork on the Metaphysics of morals, all at once, lying face-down on my bedroom floor, sobbing on the pages, again.

I'll never tell him that i tried everything, in countless timelines, but that every attempt failed, so I _MUST!_ kill him, again.

I'll never ask _WHY!?_ he won't let me kill Flowey, because my hatred toward him is not universalizable, again.

I'll never hurl my books across my room, in rage toward Kant, though he died over two centuries ago, again.

I'll never ask why _I_ should act, when Flowey defeated Undyne and Alphys, post determination-cementing, with such ease, again.

I'll never widen the scope of determination's power, beyond warping TIME to warping matter, again.

I'll never entertain the thought that Flowey controlled EVERYTHING, forcing us to act how _HE_ wanted, again.

I'll never realize that even _IF_ Flowey is controlling everything around me, I **_KNOW_** that I am doubting my existence, again.

I'll never read Meditation of First philosophy, all at once, again.

I'll never realize that Undyne and Alphys cemented in determination because they wished to act, even while Flowey wished to stop them, again.

I'll never realize that determination, the resolve to change fate, is Kant's belief in autonomy underlying all knowledge given form, again.

I'll never sharpen, oil, and practice my drills with the Masamune, one last time, again.

I'll never recall Chrono's willingness to die for the sake of his friends, only for lavos to route him, again.

I'll never hope that I-

**NO.**

I'll never hope that **THIS TIME!, WE!!!** \--may **_ALL_** become autonomous beings again, able to choose our _OWN_ fates, sans Flowey's deceit, again.

I'll never decide that Flowey shan't treat us as mere means, tools to reach goals, again.

I'll never give my life for monsters I do not know or like, knowing that _I_ did not want to live in a world where _NO ONE_ sacrificed their lives for anyone else, again.

I'll never despair over the meaninglessness of my actions, realize that I had failed to stop Flowey, wish I was dust, but fight him anyway, because, if determination existed, then I had control of my fate, again.

I'll never scour the Undernet for the best images of John Kramer's robes and Undyne's boots, as the basis for CAD-and-CAD files, again.

I'll never physically change them to fit me, and induce them with blue magic, to lessen their weight and aide my balance, again.

I'll never recall John Kramer's life and reasons he began his work: the world ripping life away from him, as I recite one of his mottoes and pin the puzzle piece-shaped broach over my sternum, and sheathe the Masamune at my pelvis, again.

"Most people are so UNGRATEFUL to be alive.

"But not **_*ME*_**.

**_"Not anymore,"_ **

I'll never resign--

**_NO!_ **

I have **_NOT!_** resigned myself to my fate.

I have seized hold of my fate with all my strength.

Countless times, Flowey has called me "helpless".

Since we first dueled in the judgment Hall, years? decades? centuries? ago, I have proved him wrong.

\----------

Eye sockets snapping forward and upward.

He's here.

A smirk on his twisted face, his form made of more dust than petals. "What!?: no Latin this time, smiley trashbag?"

I don't respond.

"No wining about Kant, and how he hates you, smart guy?"

I don't respond.

"You're not gonna fight for Chara's sake anymore?"

I don't respond.

"Or should i call them _CHRONO_?"

I don't respond.

"So who's it gonna _BE_!?

" _FROG_ -

"Oh I'm sorry-- _GLENN_?"

I don't respond.

"Or papyrus?"

I don't respond.

_"GASTER!?"_

Though his confusion nearly drowns me, I don't respond.

A pause, searching for words I have yet to say.

When I speak, I imbue them with the weight of integrity, the sharpness of justice, and the calm of--

**NO.**

**THIS TIME** , reliving Flowey's cruelty, and choosing to end it, when all i want to do is dust, has shredded my patience.

My words burn with the same confidence Undyne held, as she transformed, and as Alphys plunged a blood-red needle into her arm.

Undyne had called it **"a burning feeling that won't let me die"**.

***"My _NAME_ is _SANS_!**

***" _LONG_ have i carried my timeline's hopes and dreams.**

***"And _NOW_ , I bear the MASAMUNE as well.**

***" _HENCEFORTH_ , I _CLAIM_ them as my own.**

***"I shall _SLAY_ you, and _RESTORE! OUR! HONOR!!!_ "***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to learn about Kantian ethics for yourself, watch this video. Thank Tesla for Crash Course Philosophy. I wouldn't have been able to learn any of this without them.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bIys6JoEDw
> 
> These videos explain the other systems of morality I mentioned, or was inspired by, while writing. They were also produced by Crash Course Philosophy.
> 
> Determinism (heh) Versus Free Will:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCGtkDzELAI  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KETTtiprINU
> 
> Cartesian Skepticism:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLKrmw906TM
> 
> This is the source I used to learn about kant. I accessed it for the first time on March 19, 2020.  
> https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/kant/
> 
> Sans's ending speech was adapted from Glenn's speech in the Nintendo DS port of ChronoTrigger, when he wields the Masamune for the first time.
> 
> When Sans quotes Saw, he is referring to a quote said multiple times throughout the series. The first time it was said, was in the first Saw film.
> 
> "Most people are so ungrateful to be alive. But not you. Not anymore."
> 
> Here is a link to the background music again. I accessed it for this story on April 7, 2020.
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hoF3M6ymyHI


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't fit everything I wanted to say in the endnotes of a single-chapter work, so I made this chapter instead. I'm fully expecting to have to do this for nearly every work I write from now on.
> 
> Also, if you don't like politics with your fanfic, there's a certain part of the chapter where you should stop reading. There's a warning in the chapter text itself.

I've been thinking about the question I posed in the summary for a long time. Like, since the summer of 2016 a long time. It's, like, LITERALLY a reason I started writing Visiontale. If I had to pin down a catalyst for me thinking about this, it would probably be the Undertale comic Megalo. I heard a dub of it on this YouTube channel.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ur7TlvGxc4

Having watched it again, so I could write this chapter, I realized that this story is a reply to that comic.

Ever since I began planning Visiontale, I found it so hard to believe that Sans had the moral strength to, like, do what he did, over and over again. Then, I realized that if he TRULY didn't care, then he would've allowed Flowey or Frisk to kill him a long time ago. Either that, or he would've stopped trying to act at all. Therefore, he HAD to have the moral strength to defend his timeline. He would've had to CONVINCE himself to fight.

THEN... I asked myself how he would convince himself to do so. Reverse-engineering that thought process became the seed for this story. Megalo seems to play up Sans's apathy, and imply that he had it even BEFORE Flowey came along and began resetting. Even though the voice-acting is good, and the writing is relatively faithful to the characters, I remember why I never liked it as much as I should: because the author of the original comic didn't make Sans as serious as I always imagined him to be, during his fight, OR I always thought he WOULD act, in this situation. He's still cracking puns, even up until the very end. Even during his fight, he dispenses with the jokes eventually, and starts acting genuinely serious. It seems like Megalo implies that Sans's apathy... came from nowhere...?, because of Flowey saying that Sans acts this way, like "nothing ever happened", even after having watched "this world die a hundred times". I just wasn't, and still am not, invested as deeply as I might have been otherwise, because this comic dub's tone is all over the place.

That's why I wrote this story: to portray how I imagined Sans to act during his fight. Specifically, how he acts in my AU. Ever since I began planning Visiontale, and even before then, I assumed that sans's laziness was partially a facade, to hide the fact that he knows about the player's determination. I also imagined that his apathy was real, that the resets had sapped him of his will to live, and his belief in free will. That's why Kantian ethics and Cartesian skepticism appealed to me so much, because they BOTH explain why Sans might fight, even while he knows that it is futile, and the existential crisis the resets posed for him.

I tried fitting Sans's actions, and what he says during his boss fight, and his other speeches, into the template for kantian ethics, and Rene Descartes's thoughts about the self. That, and all the other pieces of "conventional" media i mentioned in the summary. Specifically, I modeled Sans's last several statements on the three most well-known formulations of Kant's categorical imperative.

This story is also a response to conflicting interpretations of how Sans knows about the resets. Based on his comments about the player's expression during his boss fight, and his "date" at MTT Resort, Undertale itself seems to imply that Sans is very attuned to people's body language. At the same time, he can literally see the player's Level of Violence, during their Judgment. This moment inspired me to make seeing into the soul an integral part of Visiontale. Under this framework, Sans knows that Frisk died "quice" in a row, because he is looking into Frisk's soul. He knows that they gained no Execution Points because he is seeing the contents of their field of knowing. Because Flowey has no soul, he cannot use these skills to deduce that Flowey has reset the timeline. Instead, he must deduce it based on his actions.

In fandom, Sans knows about the resets because he can literally remember them: in their entirety, OR in part. That interpretation inspired me to create soulology: where someone's experiences shape their magic. Accordingly, Sans had the right combination of training and experiences to allow him to remember the resets. The thought that he inherently had the ability didn't make sense to me. Until now, I have found few fanworks which explain why he can remember them. Also, the idea that he was just that good at reading people's body language seemed like even MORE of a cop out. That's why I combined the two. He has to figure out that Flowey is determined, through logic and use of the Epoch, his machine in his basement, but once he DOES so, he remembers everything.

As for HOW Sans reached the point we see him in the story? I realized that Flowy would have no reason to hide the fact that he can reset, because he knows that even if he DID tell someone, once he resets, they, supposedly, would forget. One of the positive takeaways I had from Megalo was Flowey's contempt toward everyone. In the words of his canon self, he's "seen everything this world has to offer". He thinks that he can read everyone like a book. In the comic, he believes that his actions have no consequences, and even if they DO have consequences, he thinks he knows enough about everyone's character that he can worm his way out of them. This attitude is what inspired Flowey's mockery of Sans. He knows that Sans knows that Flowey has been resetting, and he's not trying to hide that anymore. He stopped trying to hide the fact that he knows so much a long time ago. He's gotten careless. He thinks that he can get away with mocking Sans this way, even though Sans has punished him for his actions countless times. Once he started doing genocide routes, eventually, once he progressed far enough, to the point that he could fight Undyne and Alphys without taking damage, these actions made Sans suspicious. Fandom seems to portray resets as being like clockwork: the same actions Frisk or Flowey take ALWAYS result in the same outcome, because, in this view, the characters' personalities are fixed. I realized that this is limiting, because Frissk and Flowey, in my AU, can only know what's happening in someone else's head by looking into their soul. They can't know the process which LED someone to make the choice that they see without doing so. There should always be an element of uncertainty, regarding how the characters act. Even though the resets happening like such a huge routine is an interpretation I disagree with, I did not throw it out entirely: after all, no matter HOW many times Flowey tried convincing Asgore to show him the human souls, Asgore never did. This fact: that Asgore never acted differently throughout the resets when it came to that specific action, inspired me to develop Sans's story in the way I did.

In early 2020, I had an epiphany, regarding Sans's character: that every time he realized that Flowey was resetting the timeline, that he would ALSO remember every PROCEEDING time he had made this realization. He would relive all of the feelings he had during those processes. He would relive ALL the arguments he made for himself, for and against fighting Flowey.

He would know that he had failed.

He would relive each time he realized that he had failed to stop him.

In this way, each time he remembered the timelines which came before, the decision to fight Flowey became HARDER: not easier. I couldn't portray this fact as clearly as I would have liked, using the story structure I chose, for reasons that I will explain shortly. Suffice it to say, when I realized this, it only strengthened my belief that canon Sans has strong moral convictions, but that his lack of belief in free will counteracts them.

This idea horrified me.

The idea of Sans as amartyr was one that I latched on to early on, long before I began planning Visiontale.

The idea of Sans both being a martyr, AND knowing that he had done so before...

It horrifies and sickens me.

It's not like in Megalo, where Flowey says that Sans has fought to save his timeline countless times, even though he does not know the full extent of Flowey's crimes, and, since this comic seems to adhere to canon, he is incapable of remembering the true extent of Flowey's crimes. In Visiontale, Sans KNOWS that he has been a martyr, so every time he has to make that choice, he not only has to choose to give his life, but to give his life for the Nth time, knowing that his pain and struggles: soulological, emotional, and moral, might be for nothing, because Flowey will just reset again if he fails. Each time he constructs the arguments for and against fighting Flowey, he must add on exponentially more information, to account for prior timelines. "I fought SO MANY TIMES before, but I failed every time, because Flowey is still coming back. Why should I do it again, when all THOSE! times didn't work? How can fighting Flowey one more time change anything?"

To all the people who've read beyond chapter 41 of Visiontale? Now you know how Sans became... who he is now! Also, how he developed his morals... and his outfit... and Execution Points and Levels of Violence.

That's why every few? dozen? times he fought Flowey, he did something differently. I imagined that the first change he made, after he remembered Flowey dodging his first attack easily several? more than that? attempts in a row, was changing out of his fucking slippers. After that, I imagined him putting on Schala's amulet, from Chrono, to psych himself up. Once he reached what we know as the break between phases in his fight, he teleported the Masamune from his room to him, to dunk on Flowey, and so on. Eventually, he reached the point we see him now: dressed in John Kramer's robes and Undyne's boots, wielding the Masamune from the very beginning.

While writing this story, I ran into multiple issues. Initially, I wanted/assumed i had to write it in ChronoLogical order, so it would be about the very first time Sans realized that Flowey had done his Genocide Route before. After watching The Good Place, I realized that doing it in reverse ChronoLogical order would make it easier to, like, demonstrate Sans's evolution as an individual.

Another more pressing issue I had was, bluntly, writing as a character who knows infinitely more about the philosophers and works of media I've mentioned than I do. At the very least, Sans would've studied philosophy for four years, starting in early 2011, but honestly, I could see him studying it ever since Gaster died in 1996... which would be 19 years worth of research...? This isn't even accounting for monsters being able to truly multitask in my AU, so he could easily fit more than 19 years of knowledge into 19 years of time. As of the original posting of this story, I'm in no position to do formal research, because I don't know if I'm going to commit to the laptop I'm using now. I also wasn't able to find any sources about Kant's life online that I trusted. Originally, I wanted Sans to be angry that Kant didn't live up to the morals that he wrote about, but I couldn't find much information about Kant's non-academic life and or personality. The most reliable source I COULD find, is a biography, that I don't want to buy. This matters, quite a bit, because I'm currently revising chapter 42 of Visiontale, so Papyrus explains that Sans became cemented in justice partially because Sans learned about Kant's life, and how he didn't live up to the moral system he wrote about. As of the original posting of this story, I haven't figured out a way to resolve this gap in knowledge, so it'll have to stay, for now.

Next, I'll discuss the choice in background music. At first, I used Crime and Punishment, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRJnQ1iw-ys  
or Sorrowful Stone,  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCt4aLirnrk  
both from the Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood soundtrack.

However, the night? afternoon? I posted this, I realized that Hello Zepp, the main theme of the Saw franchise, was more fitting, and not just because Sans is dressed in John Kramer's outfit? one of his outfits. It's because Sans is doing what Jigsaw does in the films: determining whether someone has done good with the life they have been given. Also, like John Kramer, Sans developed his philosophy after many hardships. Kramer's unborn son was killed because of the carelessness of a patient at his then-wife's drug addiction rehabilitation clinic, his insurance company denied him coverage for his cancer treatments for the sake of profit, and he tried, and failed, to commit suicide by driving off a cliff. In Sans's case, his hardships were losing Gaster, Chrono, Magus, his good standing in the Inertia Society, due to the Determination Study and his crackpot theories about defying death, and, temporarily, his belief in free will. All three of the considered pieces have some air of solemnity, formality, and emotional intensity around them. I originally used Crime and Punishment in Visiontale, to allude to its use here. At the time, I had thought that both its name and tone fit the story. However, I realized recently, as of first posting this, that Sorrowful Stone fit the mood I wanted to convey more, because of its slower speed, plodding piano chords, and precise violin playing. Soon after, I settled on Hello Zepp because it had the same qualities as the former two pieces, but on a larger and more dynamic scale. Considering Zealdians' hightened empathy, and greater emotional range and volatility, the qualities I mentioned in Hello Zepp are more in line with my AU's version of Sans.

You know how I put a warning in the chapter notes saying that if you didn't like real-life politics with your fanfic, stop reading at a certain point?

THIS IS THAT POINT. So before you go: stay safe, stay healthy, if you can, stay at home, and stay determined.

The last few things I wanted to address, aren't directly related to the story. Rather, they are about the circumstances surrounding me writing it. Keep in mind that the analysis you are about to read is coming from someone sans a public health degree... and a political science degree... and a psychology degree.

As of March 16, 2020, Santa Clara County, California, along with five other counties, has been under a shelter in place order, as a precaution, to slow the increase in COVID-19 cases. As of March 20, 2020, the governor of California has issued a shelter in place order for the whole state. As of the posting of this chapter, on April 8, 2020, this shelter in place order is supposed to last until May 3, 2020.

As of April 28, 2020, this shelter in place order has been extended until the end of May.

Similarly, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued an order banning public gatherings of more than ten people, and for people to practice social distancing (sometimes called physical distancing instead) guidelines, on March 14, 2020. As of this post, it is supposed to last for eight weeks.

To say that I've been scared of what will happen would be an understatement.

When I learned about the shelter in place order for my county, I laughed, because I had a feeling it would happen, but didn't think it would happen so soon after I predicted it. The same goes for the CDC's ban on public gatherings. This is the first time I've lived through an event of this scale. I was in sixth grade, when H1N1 occurred. I remember hearing about the face masks, and people telling us to wash our hands frequently, but no one ever told more at-risk students to stay home.

Also, I didn't feel scared then, because I knew that the then-current administration was competent enough to take care of us.

I can't say that about the current situation, under President (ugh) Trump. Normally, I call him the Cheeto, but COVID-19 is so serious that I don't feel like calling him by that name is appropriate.

Over the past few weeks, Trump has... ehm... "led" a press briefing in the afternoon, to "update" us about the federal government's efforts to aid states in treating their citizens: allocating aid, the number of cases, conveying CDC recommendations, etc.

The person leading the COVID-19 task force is the vice president, who has no public health experience.

The only reason I'm not panicing any harder is because Dr. Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, is there more often than not. He is a voice of reason. HE! is the kind of expertise we need right now.

Recently, I have heard suggestions that Trump SHOULD stay home during the press briefings, because all he does is misinform people, and use the briefings as a vehicle for his rants toward people he doesn't like, and issues he's fixated on at the current moment.

I fervently agree.

Because of his actions, my family and family friends, who work as doctors and nurses, coud die, because they don't have access to personal protective equipment (PPE). My cousin with cancer could die, because he might not be able to get tested and treated in time, if he contracted it, and because his mom couldn't decontaminate herself properly. My family friend in New York, who's a nurse, could die, because she can't get the PPE she needs while working with patients in the ICU. Patients under her care could die, because they won't have access to the treatments or equipment they need, or because they are being treated with drugs which have no scientific efficacy.

Two of my family friends, who are doctors, are endangering their children, every time they come home from the hospital, because even though California has not reached its peak in COVID-19 cases yet, we still lack ENOUGH supplies to ensure the safety of our healthcare workers. Though they can work from home most of the time, they still have to go to the hospital once in a while.

When I think about all the ways Trump has mishandled the pandemic, I can't help but remember a quote from Dr. Sanjay Gupta, CNN's Chief Medical Correspondent, said during an interview with Stephen Colbert, on March 13, 2020: the last interview Colbert had before New York banned public gatherings 500 people or more. If you want to hear it for yourself, here are the links to the interview. Keep in mind that the information presented in this interview was current as of the day of publication. If you live in the U.S., and want up-to-date information, go to this link. It's the CDC's website.

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/index.html

Part 1:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jmUMolg-7nA&t=11s

Part 2:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7erusqG3Y8Y

Part 3:  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ufa2wAeqPo

"I think what I'm really struck by is that never before--and I've been doing this for a long time--have I found a situation where how I behave so dramatically impacts your health, and how you behave so dramatically impacts my health. I have an obligation, not just for my health--my parents' health--but for your health and your family's health. We are codependent on each other in a way I've never seen before. I don't want to get too philosophical, but I find it really fascinating, in a way, that if not for me, if I don't engage in these good behaviors for me, then I should do it for you. I should do it for the people around me. And I think--I hope that's motivating for people to do this. I think that individual behaviors make such a big difference here. I don't think people get it yet. But I think people will get this, Stephen."

Washing your hands for 20 seconds and staying at home, for the sake of OTHER people, and not yourself, because you HAVE to, because you would want someone to take those same precautions for you... that sounds like Kant's first formulation of the categorical imperative to me.

Either that, or utilitarianism. Either one works in this case.

When you have a president who doesn't follow social distancing rules, who openly contradicts all the health experts around him, who says that the National Stockpile, containing PPE, shouldn't be given to the states, because the states should've been stockpiling supplies this entire time, SOMEONE WHO SUGGESTED injecting and or ingesting disinfectant products to kill covid-19 in the body (BY TESLA THAT'S STUPID--don't be that guy--DON'T DO IT)...

How else am I supposed to feel but discouraged and disheartened? Even though his absence from the press briefings WOULD ease some of the stress, because I, and the rest of the country, don't have to hear him make a fool of himself, and endanger our lives in the process, it'd also demoralize lots of people, me included. The Surgen General has called this time--the week of April 6, 2020, our 911 time, our Pearl Harbor time, because our actions NOW will determine how the pandemic pans out from now on.

Think about those comparisons... and who we have at the helm during this moment.

He doesn't care about what happens to me, or my family, or anyone else I care about... or anyone else. He could care less if I die, or if my family and family friends die. I bet that even if half the country dropped dead tomorrow, he wouldn't care. He'd just celebrate the deaths of all the Democrats among those people. Before you say that he wouldn't do that, there's precedent for it: when Utah Senator Mit Romney tested positive, and began self-isolating, Trump mocked him, during one of his press briefings.

As of late April, 2020, there's more precedent for this. It'd be hard to list all the examples, but...

It should suffice to say that he, and members of his party, have called the stimulus package Congress passed recently, meant to help state governments and people in need, a Democratic bailout.

It shouldn't be surprising to anyone right now that I'm so drawn to Sans, and the tremendous (UGH--Trump always says that word--so fuck it), his great sacrifice. He was willing to make an agonizing choice, to solve a problem no one else could solve, countless times. He found a way to effect change in the world, when everything else was conspiring against him. He had the moral conviction to effect the change he wanted to see in the world, even though doing so hurt him.

To everyone who's read past chapter 43 of Visiontale?

Now you know why I made Sans Judge, and why I've been so fixated on the idea for all these years.

Zealdian Sans has the qualities Trump does not. He is everything that Trump is not. I developed his character in response to what I was seeing--or, rather, what I WASN'T seeing, in America's current leadership. This isn't the first time I've done this, actually: becoming fixated on a person, analyzing their character, learning everything I can about them, learning new skills just so I could appreciate that person more. It's happened twice? before, at least. The first TWO times this type of fixation happened, I was in sixth and tenth grade, respectively. The people I obsessed over were Alexander the Great, and N, from Pokémon Black and White, respectively. In the former case, I had learned about Alexander in my social studies class, and something just... clicked. I was hooked. I was so impressed that he crammed so much into his life, how, to me, at that time, progressive he was for his time, how he figured out things no one else around him had, how everyone still kept him in their lives somehow, even after his death. I became exposed to writers like Arrian and Plutarch, because of their biographies and analyses of him. I wrote fanfic about him. I even tried doing outside research for it, though obviously, since I didn't know as much about finding credible sources, and didn't care as much about that back then, what I considered rigorous THEN, I would not call rigorous now. My second year of high school snapped me out of that, because that school year was... violent: regarding the history I was learning, AND what was occurring in real life. Living through your first news cycle about a school shooting would do that to you. One of my friends snapped me out of it. I can't remember what he said, but it worked. I said that I felt stupid for spending all that time dumping so many resources into this person. I felt stupid for thinking I could write about someone from 2300 years ago in a modern setting, let alone do so while crossing it over with other media. As for N, I remember much more of that process. Pokémon X and Y's release, in October 2013, reignited my love for the series. This was the second time this had happened. The FIRST time, was in eighth grade, when Pokémon Black and White was released. A Japanese guy moved to my school, and I hung out with him basically every day. I played the Pokémon Trading Card Game with him and my friends every day for the second half of the school year. This even continued into high school. Upon Pokémon X and Y's release, I felt nostalgia for generation V, so I wrote a fanfic about N. This fic is much more similar to how I currently write, because I actually made an effort to find good sources, and I used the endnotes of chapters to explain how my fic deviated from canon. As of the first posting of this chapter, I couldn't tell you why these obsessions happened... at least, without breaking out Freud, and other psychologists I've only heard of and have never formally studied. All I know, is that Sans is my third obsession, that he has been my third obsession since the summer? of 2016, and that I have devoted more time, money, and resources toward him, and Undertale as a whole, than my other two obsessions combined. I have devoted more time to analyzing his character than anyone else in Undertale. Only Chrono can compare. I used to make fun of Sans fangirls. That stopped a LOOONG time ago. I gave up trying to hide the reality of me being a Sans fangirl a long time ago. What can I say?: I've been fixated on smart people with angsty backstories ever since I was 13. That isn't even going into how I became fixated on Saw, and how that fixation expanded into a love for horror movies, and horror media and tropes more broadly, and how those aspects informed Visiontale and its characters, ESPECIALLY Zealdian Sans. Considering how many stories in Visiontale's AU I have planned, this obsession SURE AS HELL isn't gonna stop now. Believe it or not, originally, I didn't want to post this fic, due to the gaps in information I mentioned up above. Instead, I planned on writing a short piece about SANS'S response to COVID-19: Zealdia offering their expertise to help process tests and make PPE... while trying not to draw so much of Trump's ire that it stops them from helping people. As of the initial posting of this story, that is still a possibility. That story would be a good showcase of Zealdia as a nation after the Barrier broke, how I think they would conduct themselves in the world.

How they're drawing on the resources they DO HAVE now, to complete tasks that the current American leadership, with few exceptions, has not had the moral strength to do.

I know that this explanation has been long, but I wanted to write down everything before my inspiration is gone.

I'll conclude by saying this.

We talk about saving all the time, as Undertale fans.

You know how Frisk saved everyone from Asriel, at the end of the True Pacifist Route?

The ACTs that YOU can do right now, to save everyone around you, include the following.

Obey your area's shelter in place orders. If, for some fucking reason, your national, state, provincial, county, town, or city, hasn't issued one yet, those government officials can go fuck themselves. If this is the case, voluntarily stay home as much as you can.

Physically distance yourself as much as possible from people in public spaces. Stay at least six feet away. However, just because you're that far away from someone, doesn't mean that you are completely safe: the farther away you are, and the less time you spend outside, the better.

Limit traveling outside your home to essential errands only, like grocery shopping, refilling prescriptions, and gassing up your car.

Wash your hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds, or, where soap and water are unavailable, scrub them with hand sanitizer with 60% alcohol content or more for at least 20 seconds.

If you develop a fever, cough, shortness of breath, and or fatigue, call your doctor, to arrange receiving a COVID-19 test. However, we are still learning about COVID-19, so these symptoms are not the only possible symptoms. Test availability will depend on where you live, how at-risk you are, and the severity of your symptoms. Don't just go to your nearest hospital unannounced. By calling in beforehand, the hospital can prepare for your arrival, to lessen the number of people you could infect by going there.

Lastly, ensure that anyone you know who might be at increased risk, like older people, those with underlying health conditions, those wit weakened immune systems, and public service officials, like doctors and nurses, police officers, and paramedics, are taken care of.

Don't be like me.

Don't cry uncontrollably over the state of our country, even though there's nothing, as an individual, I can do , to change Trump's behavior. Like Dr. Gupta said, WE, as individuals, have to take action to ensure everyone's health. Monitoring our personal health is, in a way, the same as monitoring public health, now.

If what I've said so far hasn't convinced you, then consider this.

Would you want to live in a world where NO ONE was willing to sacrifice ANYTHING for the sake of another person?

If you answered no, then congrats. You just applied Kant's first categorical imperative in the same way Zealdian Sans did.

Please, by Tesla, follow these guidelines... and if you ever freak out like I did, find someone to talk to about how you feel, or find an outlet to process those feelings.

"You can't give up just yet.

"[EVERYONE]! "[stay safe, and] stay determined!"


End file.
